Is there anything more fantastic than following obscure notions about? Recently talking plant and myself were having a discussion; at least I think it was a discussion, I certainly can’t recall what it was that we were talking about, maybe he’ll leave a comment that will shed some light on this- at any rate, we wound up querying dictionary.com as to the precise definition of wild. The resulting page was so entertaining that I wound up treating it like a survey.

So here are my answers to the various definitions of wild.

1. Occurring, growing, or living in a natural state; not domesticated, cultivated, or tamed.

Well ok, I’m here so in a sense I am occurring, there are parts of me that will continue growing long after I die, and I am currently living, the catch ultimately comes in whether or not this is a natural state. I mean for post-pre-re-modern man or whatever the hell it is that people of my age group are supposed to be, this state that I find myself living in is about as natural as anything else available to me at the moment. As far as domesticated; while I no longer poop on the floor, I do have to keep snack foods stowed away or the ants come invading; cultivated? I don’t think anybody is exactly nurturing my current growth; tamed? I refuse to comment on whether or not I’m tame.

2. Not inhabited or farmed.

I can state that I have never been farmed. Several females have attempted to co-inhabit with me; all of them left.

3. Uncivilized or barbarous; savage.

This right here demands a definition of civilization, because if you’re going to include the vast majority of contemporary culture, and indeed even a lot of the basic precepts of western civilization as a whole, I’d prefer to be barbarous. As far as savagery goes, I’m hell on snack foods and bubble wrap.

4. a. Lacking supervision or restraint.

Haven’t lived with my parents for years, never spent more than a night in jail.

b. Disorderly; unruly.

All hail lord Chaos.

c. Characterized by a lack of moral restraint; dissolute or licentious.

Any sort of restraint that I’ve ever shown has been moral restraint, it’s just that my definition of morals is perhaps more permissive of licentious and dissolute behavior as being able to be assimilated into a valid moral order.

5. Lacking regular order or arrangement; disarranged.

It’s only the inclusion of regular before the order that prevents me from taking umbrage against this one; because it’s true, I do lack regular order, the order I see is of a much higher sort, and is anything but regular.

6. Full of, marked by, or suggestive of strong, uncontrolled emotion.

You should see me with the better part of a bottle under my belt, I’ll show you full of, marked by and suggestive or strong something or other….

7. Extravagant; fantastic.

Yes please.

8. Furiously disturbed or turbulent; stormy.

This is me after watching television commercials, and I tend to be extravagant in my furious condemnations. Of course furiously disturbed also makes one think of insanity, and the jury is still out on that.

9. Risky; imprudent.

The story of my life is one of imprudent decisions; they tend to take you to the most interesting places.

10. a. Impatiently eager.

Yep, especially when it comes to waiting to see if one of my imprudent notions is going to pay off.

b. Informal. Highly enthusiastic.

Anybody who knows me, knows that I can be highly enthusiastic, especially in an informal setting where reality doesn’t have to bear on the situation.

11. Based on little or no evidence or probability; unfounded.

I refuse to answer that, the facts (or lack thereof) that I am based on, are a closely guarded secret.

12. Deviating greatly from an intended course; erratic.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, in a rational world I wouldn’t be starting college at twenty-eight. Of course, in the earlier drafts of my intended course I was supposed to be rich and famous by now and look how well that turned out, I don’t even have a novel published. Haven’t we all deviated from an intended course? Every interesting person I’ve ever met certainly has.

Well, at least in my mind, that settles it - and I think we have another valuable tool at our disposal, turning dictionary definitions into informal surveys, just think of the possibilities.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 at 5:35 pm and is filed under indiscriminate, words. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.