ever have one of those days where you run around, knowing full well that there is all of this terribly important shit that needs to be done, but you can’t get anything accomplished because you don’t have the faintest idea of where to start?

the last couple of months i’ve been indulging in a steadily increasing diet of odd intellectual fodder -

i’m shaking here
so impossibly anxious to
do something
great and sweeping,

not so much to make me famous,
but to bring me into contact with all these people (that i hope like hell are out there in sufficient numbers) attempting to sway the prevailing zeitgeist and offer up some serious signs of hope for all those who see no future

i’ve been watching a number of rock ‘n’ roll documentaries

i’ve actually joined a rock ‘n’ roll band;
(great fun, long story, i’ll tell it to you sometime)

i’ve been brainstorming and taking furious notes on ideas for ‘happenings’ to spring on my local collection of the american populace . . .

i’ve been drinking too many 40’s and trying to believe my own ego
mostly because i’ve discovered
that if you believe your own ego
then all of the shit that the world throws your way
slides off that much easier

if you believe your own ego
you can see yourself as significant

i don’t know about you, but i . . .
well you sort of know where i (would at least like to) stand on the matter simply from my positing that we stand in possession of a choice on the matter

what i do know is this . . .

i have met scores of people who in one way or another have impressed me with their ideas, their dedication, their humor and spirit

the way that we as a human species are conducting ourselves (perhaps especially here in america) is ridiculous and destructive

outside of that i’m at something of a loss,

i’d like to believe that something profound and meaningful can still come about in this place, if only to fail and inform the next generation, who i can only hope will stand a better chance than we do

i love being an optimist
it’s the only real way to have fun

the truth about this post

honestly, the reason i had to write this was because i’ve been avoiding posting here because i’ve been trying to goad myself into embarking on a number of interesting ideas, and ultimately failing . . . plus i’ve joined a band and that’s been eating up alot of the old brain-cycle time, to say nothing of the fact that attempting to behave like a rock star takes it’s own interesting toll . . .

hoping that one day this will all make sense,
-finite

This entry was posted on Monday, July 24th, 2006 at 11:00 pm and is filed under indiscriminate, philosophy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.