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howling into the void

wow, way too much silence from the jester’s end of the world
this blogging thing began with the most impossible aims imaginable
a pure reflection of my general take on life;
namely that unless i’m doing something to make this world better,
i’m wasting my time

all my dreams scare me

at night
i toss and turn
wondering
what it’s worth

howling into the void

but i’ve studied revolutionary history
and i know that as soon as you stand a chance
of making change
you can wind up wearing cross-hairs

and it’s getting harder to delude myself
that i can be who i want to be
i swear i see lies in the bathroom mirror
when i cannot tear my eyes away
from themselves
even when the vision blurs
and the man i see
looks more foolish
with every second i waste

2 Responses to “howling into the void”

  1. Doug Says:

    maybe its time to let someone else look, others will see things far differently
    and you will not look foolish to them.

  2. finite jester Says:

    it’s not a ‘them’ whom i care about looking foolish too,
    it’s myself . . .
    and i hope there are alot of other people looking
    and i know we’ll all see differently
    but turning wide-open eyes
    on this world
    is terrifying

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