Gnomes Gnomes Gnomes
He’d never look at gnomes the same way again. In all honesty the book had been that good, and now Shane was convinced that all the yard-gnomes were actually alive.
It was, in truth, an odd conceit. The book had made no mention of yard-gnomes; the gnomes in the novel had been actually woodland gnomes and in no way had they been central to the story, but the idea that gnomes existed outside the standard human understanding of time was enough to set the admittedly unbalanced clockwork of Shane’s mind ticking along to a new rhythm.
The yard-gnomes were all alive, just moving through such a wildly different understanding of time that they appeared static. He’d taken to watching them, waiting for one of them to slip up and let the proverbial cat out of the bag.
His best friend, Darryl, had noticed something was up when he stopped by for a beer one evening and found the additions to the front yard. Three yard gnomes, garishly painted, under the eye of a new surveillance camera. Shane had been evasive at first, mumbling about an art project and attempting to change the subject, but a few beers, some high-potency marijuana and a pointed question or two had brought all the nonsense spilling forth.
“Let me get this straight,” Darryl said, “you bought the gnomes yourself.”
“Yep.”
“So you know what they’re made of, you know they’re manufactured, you know these are not real gnomes mate,” Darryl said.
“On the contrary, they only appear to have been manufactured, they only appear to be made of inanimate materials, that is half the genius of their scheme!” Shane said, cracking a fresh beer and warming to his subject. “In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if these supposed factories that allegedly make the gnomes weren’t actually run by the gnomes themselves, and they are sending out their legions to create confusion and chaos in the world.”
Darryl sighed in resignation and got another beer for himself. He’d seen this sort of nonsense before, with ghosts and UFO’s, doubtless this gnome thing would blow over in a few weeks, he’d just keep a bit of distance and wait it out.
“So tell me, what are you going to do if you can prove this theory?” Darryl asked.
“Why, join them of course,” said Shane. “The world needs more chaos, and gnomes have cool hats.”