“It isn’t often one gets to have a conversation with god you know,” the old woman stated matter of factly.

“But how can you know it was actually god and not some paranoid delusion,” Jonah asked, his brow furrowed. He was trying to imagine what god looked like.

“Oh, you know. Those paranoid bits become obvious when you are as old and crazy as I am.” She laughed and took another long drag from the water pipe. Her eyes went unfocused, staring towards the window as she blew a trailing length of tobacco and pot smoke toward the ceiling. “I mean, I’ve taken my fair share of drugs and such, but the almighty? He’ll let you know when it’s him.”

“I guess that makes a sort of sense,” he wasn’t really sure about that though.

“So anyway god says to me ‘Betta, you have been ignoring your calling for some time now.’ And I says to him, ‘Yes god I know and I’m sorry.’”

She paused for so long that Jonah thought that might be it. “And then what?”

Her vacant stare continued. A long moment passed and he could swear that a small drop of drool was coming to a head at the corner of her lips. Just as it beaded she blinked and continued on as if no time had passed. “He told me that I had to quit farting around and get to work on my promise.”

“Your promise? What do you mean your promise?”

“I had to promise god something before I came down.” She waved her hand in the air for a bit and then let it float down to her lap. “Before I could be born.”

“What did you promise him?” Jonah asked.

“Well that’s not something that I’m willing to share,” she said with a smile and another long toke from the pipe stem.

“But he told you that you made him a promise?”

She winked and nodded. “He reminded me.”

“So we are here for a purpose then?” He leaned in with an eager expression on his face.

“Well I couldn’t say ‘we’ for certain, but he basically let me know that I had one.”

Jonah waited for a while and let the information sink in. He took a few drags from his pipe stem as he pondered. “That must have been extremely comforting,” he said.

“Eh, to be honest I was too busy freaking out that god had actually noticed me,” she replied. “I didn’t feel any comfort until much later. God is a very big thing. It is frightening to have the universe put into perspective. That’s what happens when you stand next to god for a moment, you see it all.”

“Even so that is an honorable position to hold one would think.” Jonah was beginning to wonder if she had put some hash into the bowl too.

She let out a huge wooping cackle. “If you really think that, why don’t you give it a try? Just catch god’s attention and see if you feel honored. You’ll probably just end up with wet shorts.”